i go through periods of
“i’m so fucking cool and awesome and hot. I would date me”
“i’m so fucking ugly why do people talk to me i’m such a loser”
“LIFE IS AWESOME LOOK A BIRD. SO PRETTY. EARTH IS BEAUTIFULLLL!!”
“oh my god everyone is so fucked up i hate people and want to die.”
This is so accurate it’s unbelievable.
me everytime a character in a movie has to get a few drops of their blood for some ritual bullshit (via jtoday)
WHILE WE’RE AT IT, why do people try to cross those skinny bridges over lava/chasms/whatever by walking upright. IT’S CALLED CENTER OF GRAVITY. get on your hands and knees and crawl across that thing. HUG IT. SCOOT YOUR BUTT ACROSS. “but i look stupid!” lalalala but we’ll avoid that ~dramatic moment~ where you almost fall over and die because your damn fucking self wanted to look COOL
and stop yanking IV lines out of your arms the minute you wake up in the hospital
That is a broadsword, why are you fencing with it
There is a freaking door right there. Stop smashing through windows, damn it.
yes, mr. action hero, I am aware that running dramatically from the baddies at breakneck speed is important, but know what else is important? NOT GETTING SHOT. RUN IN A FUCKING ZIGZAG PATTERN ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT THE MOOKS WERE NOT COACHED IN MARKSMANSHIP BY THE IMPERIAL STORMTROOPERS.
Oh, hey, you there, sneaky hero-type breaking into any place for any reason? WEAR SOME FUCKING GLOVES. They’re called fingerprints, dumbass. You have them and you’re putting them all over the fucking place.
If something really fucking huge is falling on you, don’t FUCKING RUN ALONG THE LENGTH JUST TAKE LIKE TWO FUCKING STEPS TO THE SIDE
f is for friends who do stuff without you
u is for uninvited
c is for clinging onto hope that you wont keep getting forgotten
k is for krispy kreme yum
this is not what i wanted this post to turn out like
one time i got in the shower and came out and no one was home and the lights were off, my entire family went bowling and forgot about me
DOWN HERE IN THE DEEP BLUE SEA
"Don’t kid yourself" would be a great slogan for birth control pills
Current mood: Ryan Evans when he wasn’t allowed to sing HumuHumu
this guy i know throws this wild crazy party at the end of every school year and he invites literally everyone in our grade and this year i’m gonna call the cops ahead of time to shut it down because i once let him borrow a pencil and he never gave it back
that’s a lot of anger over just 1 pencil.
it was a mechanical pencil
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